Okay, I found this in an old abused notebook in my handwriting. I'm not sure if it's my own or something funny I copied down, so I'm sharing it here because it a) amused me and b) to see if it was familiar to anyone. The bad spelling and crossed out words make me think it's probably mine, but yeah. Never hurts. I have zero memory of ever even writing this down and only found the notebook while searching for something to take a message with.

Carscreech and a dog yip.

Two people arguing.

Dog Owner: Fifi... you just ran over my dog!

Driver: It was obviously suicidal. Its running across the road was a Kevorkian maneuver. Tell me, has your dog been 'droopy' lately?

Dog Owner: Droopy?

Driver: Depressed, loking at high places, knives, pill bottles, with a wistful expression?

Dog Owner: Fifi was not suicidal!

Driver: I know it's hard to come to terms with the fact that your dog my have had a couple 'problems'.

Dog Owner: Stop shifting the blame! You ran over the dog!


(Officer walks in)


Officer: Here now, what is this?

Dog Owner: He killed Fifi!

Driver: This 'man' is blaming me for the results of his own neglect.

Officer: What?

Dog Owner: He ran over my dog and is claiming my darling Fifi committed suicide!

Driver: I'm telling you, the dog was planning it. The look of despair, the sadness in its steps...

Dog Owner: It was running.

Driver: Hush, it was a sad run.

Officer (to owner): Tell me, has your dog been acting... 'droopy' lately?

Dog Owner: Wha... He ran over my dog!

Driver: See? He viewws the poor thing as an object, no wonder it wanted to end it all.

Officer (to driver): I see what you mean. (to owner) When as the last time you took Fifi on a walk? To the vet?

Actually, I'm now positive this is just a conversation I had with my sister years ago. This is the stuff we do instead of having real talks. Well, sometimes we discuss Star Trek captain death matches.